Glancing via my texts, I got here throughout one from a pal inviting me to lunch. After politely declining, I assumed to myself, “I’m a horrible pal. Poor Susan should suppose I’ve deserted her.” Whereas I wished to be there for my pal, I made little effort to take action. The Lord had blessed me with a pricey pal, however I had taken our friendship as a right. Tearfully, I requested God to point out me find out how to be a greater pal.
What Does Proverbs Educate Us about Friendship?
Proverbs teaches that friendship ought to be marked by love, loyalty, honesty, knowledge, discretion, generosity, and encouragement that helps each buddies develop in godliness. In our fast-paced society, the place a fast textual content has taken the place of real dialog, investing in a friendship can appear a frightening job. Though balancing the calls for of household and profession leaves little time to nurture {our relationships}, it is crucial that we accomplish that if we need to have lasting friendships. Proverbs offers us sensible knowledge for Christian friendship by displaying us not solely what sort of buddies to decide on, however what sort of pal we’re referred to as to change into.
Listed here are 10 Proverbs that train us find out how to be higher buddies to the folks in our lives. These Proverbs about friendship present {that a} godly pal isn’t solely current in simple seasons however is loving, reliable, smart, loyal, sincere, reliable, discreet, beneficiant, and prepared to assist others develop.
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1. A Good Buddy Is Loving
“A pal loves always, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)
When you consider the that means of friendship, what involves thoughts? Friendship is a relationship between two folks based mostly on mutual care, belief, respect, and assist. Buddies share frequent pursuits, get pleasure from being collectively, and recognize one another. Past merely liking and caring for our buddies, Proverbs teaches us that we must always love them at all times—in good instances and in dangerous. Greater than an emotional connection, loving our buddies requires a dedication on our half.
Once we love our buddies, we love them with the identical love Jesus has for us. Jesus demonstrated His love by laying down His life for us. He instructs us to do the identical in 1 John 3:16, “By this we all know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to put down our lives for the brothers.” As we search to change into higher buddies, our love for each other binds us collectively.
Reflection query: How can I be a greater pal by loving and supporting my buddies after they want me?
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2. A Good Buddy Is Reliable
“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, however a person of understanding stays silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets and techniques, however he who’s reliable in spirit retains a factor lined.” Proverbs 11:12–13
The author of Proverbs understood that we should construct our friendships on a basis of belief. To be reliable means we’re worthy of one other particular person’s confidence. We don’t communicate negatively about our buddies behind their backs or reveal secrets and techniques they spoke to us in personal. Who hasn’t identified somebody who can’t hold a secret? When somebody we predict we are able to belief divulges intimate particulars of our lives or spreads rumors about us, it’s devastating. If an in depth pal breaks our belief, it’s heartbreaking.
If we need to be a great pal to others, we should honor our friendship by holding the tales they share with us near our hearts. We now have nothing to achieve by repeating our pal’s confidential info–and every thing to lose. The muse of a gorgeous friendship is being a reliable pal.
Reflection query: What modifications do I have to make to be a extra reliable pal to the folks I care about?
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3. A Good Buddy Is Clever
Whoever walks with the smart turns into smart, however the companion of fools will endure hurt.” Proverbs 13:20
Have you learnt somebody who is smart? How about an individual who behaves foolishly? I’ve identified individuals who appear to gravitate in the direction of hassle–– and drag others proper together with them. In relation to our buddies, we should be cautious which of them we select as a result of “dangerous firm corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
The world is filled with fools, however really smart buddies are a treasure to carry on to. However how will we change into smart? The Bible teaches us to let the phrase of Christ dwell in us richly, educating and admonishing each other in all knowledge (Colossians 3:16). Whereas folks possess a variety of opinions, the phrase of God guides us in find out how to give sound recommendation and godly counsel to our buddies, particularly to those that are making silly choices. Among the finest methods to be a great pal is to be an instance of knowledge, not solely in phrase however in motion.
Reflection query: How can I be a greater pal by looking for to develop in knowledge and understanding via God’s phrase?
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4. A Good Buddy Is Loyal
“A person of many companions might come to break, however there’s a pal who sticks nearer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
My mom used to inform me that if I have been fortunate, I might have the ability to rely on one hand the quantity of people that could be my lifelong buddies. “Buddies come and go in life,” she mentioned. “Some are right here for under a season. Few will likely be with you for the long term.” Mother was proper. Whereas I’ve had some good buddies in my life, my few closest buddies are uncommon treasures.
God by no means meant for us to be loners on this world. Solomon, in his knowledge, wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are higher than one, as a result of they’ve a great reward for his or her toil. For in the event that they fall, one will carry up his fellow. However woe to him who’s alone when he falls and has not one other to carry him up!” Might we be the sort of pal who’s loyal, who sticks shut, and who stays steadfast for years to return.
Reflection query: How can I be a loyal pal to somebody who feels alone or rejected?
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5. A Good Buddy Is Trustworthy
“Higher is open rebuke than hidden love. Devoted are the injuries of a pal; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:5–6
Once I was a toddler, there was a cartoon character named Jiminy Cricket who sang a bit of ditty, “Honesty, it doesn’t matter what the results be, is the perfect coverage.” There was one thing a couple of cricket sporting a high hat that made the tune extra memorable. As an grownup, it isn’t at all times simple to reside by this motto, particularly when it means hurting those I really like. Does the Bible instruct us to be sincere, even on the expense of our buddies’ emotions?
Whereas it ought to by no means be our intent to harm others, the Bible exhorts us to “communicate the reality in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Are you prepared to deal with the sin in your pal’s life if doing so could also be laborious for them to obtain? Humbly ask the Lord to point out you find out how to share your issues along with your pal in a means that may supply hope and therapeutic to their soul.
Reflection query: How can I lovingly share my issues with my pal with out seeming judgmental?
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6. A Good Buddy Is Reliable
“Many a person proclaims his steadfast love, however a devoted man who can discover?” Proverbs 20:6
One of the cherished qualities of a great pal is dependability. To be a reliable pal is to be dependable and somebody others can rely on. It’s possible you’ll know an unreliable particular person, somebody who promised to be there for you however then backed out on the final minute. Whereas they could have meant to maintain their phrase, they allow you to down by failing to maintain their dedication. You’ll have accomplished the identical to your pals earlier than and later regretted it.
I need to be the pal others can depend upon, one who’s there for them after they want me. Matthew 5:37 exhorts us, “Let what you say be ‘Sure’ or ‘No’; something greater than this comes from evil.” This implies our buddies can depend upon us to be there for them. Let’s make it our objective to be higher buddies by being reliable, preserving our phrase, and displaying up for our buddies who want us.
Reflection query: How can I be a greater pal by being there for folks after they want me?
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7. A Good Buddy Is Righteous
“One who’s righteous is a information to his neighbor, however the way in which of the depraved leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26
This proverb warns towards hanging out with depraved folks. To be depraved is to be ungodly, morally corrupt, and evil. Whereas buddies ought to have a optimistic affect on one another’s lives, this isn’t at all times the case. The Bible admonishes us to abhor what’s evil and maintain quick to what’s good (Romans 12:9). A very good pal warns the folks they care about of the chance of being led astray by evil folks.
The apostle John admonished his followers, “Little youngsters, let nobody deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he’s righteous” (1 John 3:7). As believers in Jesus Christ, now we have a duty to steer others by instance. If we need to have a optimistic affect of their lives, we must always search to reside in a way that honors God by the phrases we communicate, the selections we make, and the actions we take. A righteous pal doesn’t assume superiority over others; she seeks to reside humbly earlier than God and gently level her buddies towards what’s true and good.
Reflection query: How can I’ve a optimistic affect on my buddies by residing in a way that pleases and honors God?
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8. A Good Buddy Is Discreet
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, however he who repeats a matter separates shut buddies.” Proverbs 17:9
Have you ever ever confessed your ethical failure to somebody, solely to have them repeat it to others? Whenever you confided in your pal, you thought they’d deal with your secret with discretion. Sadly, as an alternative, they gossiped about you. I need to confess that I even have repeated issues I promised to maintain confidential. My lack of discretion has damage others, however I’ve discovered from these experiences to protect my phrases in terms of others’ affairs.
1 Peter 4:8 encourages us with these phrases, “Above all, hold loving each other earnestly, since love covers a mess of sins.” Love covers sin; it doesn’t reveal it. If our pal confesses their sin to us, we’re to forgive them and never repeat it. If they’re sinning, we who’re non secular ought to go to them and restore them in a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1). As we search to be higher buddies to these we love, let’s make discretion a precedence.
Reflection query: In what methods can I be a greater pal by overlaying offenses as an alternative of repeating them to others?
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9. A Good Buddy Is Beneficiant
“Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, however blessed is he who’s beneficiant to the poor.” Proverbs 14:21
What does it imply to be beneficiant? Being beneficiant with our sources means we’re open-handed in our giving. As a result of God offers for us, we are able to share these blessings with the folks in our lives who want our assist. Not solely ought to we be beneficiant with our materials possessions, however we’re additionally to be beneficiant with our time, assist, and a focus. I really like the promise in Luke 6:38, “give, and it will likely be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken collectively, operating over, will likely be put into your lap. For with the measure you utilize it will likely be measured again to you.”
Are there folks in your life with whom you will be beneficiant? It’s possible you’ll be struggling financially your self proper now. That’s okay. There are a lot of methods to be beneficiant towards others. Sharing a meal, serving to round their home, or offering a listening ear are methods you will be beneficiant with the items God has given you.
Reflection query: What sources do I’ve that I can generously share with my buddies at the moment?
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10. A Good Buddy Helps You Develop
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens one other.” Proverbs 27:17
My finest pal of over 50 years has a exceptional means of encouraging me in my calling and function. She sees my God-given items and abilities, in addition to the brand new alternatives for progress that the Lord brings my means. She is a superb cheerleader who believes in me and sees my potential. I attempt to do the identical for her.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 instructs us to “encourage each other and construct each other up, simply as you’re doing.” Are you within the behavior of encouraging your pals? Do you acknowledge their items and abilities? Are you prepared to problem them to succeed in their full potential?
Together with encouragement, now we have the duty to exhort one another in our religion. “However exhort each other daily, so long as it’s referred to as ‘at the moment,’ that none of it’s possible you’ll be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). When buddies mutually encourage and exhort one another, we sharpen one another. And that’s what buddies are for.
Reflection query: How can I encourage my buddies within the function and calling God has for his or her lives?
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A Prayer for Good Buddies
Lord Jesus.
I need to be a great pal to the folks you convey into my life, however it may be laborious. Whereas I’ve good intentions, I usually permit to get in the way in which of my friendships. Thanks for these ten proverbs that train me find out how to be a greater pal. I’m grateful to mirror on these verses as I attempt to be a blessing to my buddies. Might I really like my buddies as You’re keen on me by honoring Your commandment to “love your neighbor as your self” (Matthew 22:39).
Assist me at all times to be loving, reliable, smart, loyal, sincere, reliable, righteous, discreet, beneficiant, and refined in the direction of my buddies. I pray I’ll convey You glory in the way in which I deal with my buddies. Might I keep in mind to place their wants earlier than my very own as I willingly lay down my life for them. 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us, “So now religion, hope, and love abide, however the biggest of those is love.” As I look to be a greater pal, might I begin by being a loving pal to the folks you convey into my life?
Thanks, Jesus.
Amen.
Ceaselessly Requested Questions on Proverbs and Friendship
- What does Proverbs say about friendship?
Proverbs teaches that good friendship is loving, loyal, reliable, sincere, smart, discreet, reliable, beneficiant, and prepared to assist one other particular person develop. - What is an efficient Proverb about friendship?
Proverbs 17:17 is among the clearest verses about friendship: “A pal loves always, and a brother is born for adversity.” - How can I be a greater pal in keeping with the Bible?
You is usually a higher pal by loving constantly, preserving confidences, talking reality with gentleness, providing encouragement, being reliable, and looking for your pal’s good. - What does “iron sharpens iron” imply in friendship?
“Iron sharpens iron” means devoted buddies assist one another develop via encouragement, smart counsel, loving correction, and non secular accountability. - How do I do know if a friendship is smart or silly?
A smart friendship attracts you nearer to reality, godliness, humility, and love. A silly friendship leads you towards gossip, compromise, pleasure, sin, or hurt.
For Additional Studying
Photograph Credit score: © Unsplash/Priscilla Du Preez
Daybreak Ward is an creator, speaker, and Bible trainer. She is the founding father of The Religion to Flourish, a ministry equipping girls to flourish of their lives via inspiring educating, mentoring, and biblical sources. The ministry additionally helps and encourages girls with addicted family members.
Daybreak is married to Steve and mother to a few grownup youngsters. Together with writing and serving within the Girls’s Ministry of her native church, she is attending seminary the place she is learning for a Masters of Arts in Theological Research.
Daybreak’s e-book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Therapeutic for Christian Mothers of Addicted Kids is a labor of affection and is now obtainable. Join with Daybreak at https://www.thefaithtoflourish.com.
Initially revealed Monday, 24 August 2026.
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